It’s no secret that the only way we seem to be hooking-up these days is through the Match Group date-a-verse™. When we see others boo’d up with that special someone over this year’s “insert meme” Summer, we start to question, “Why not us?”
Now that “finding the one” is a priority of national security, it’s safe to say that we have reached peak dating anxiety.
Naturally, Social House is here to help. First of all, if you haven’t already, RSVP to one of our singles dating events.
Painstaking amounts of very little research has led us to the following hypothesis: You can pick your partner based upon their open mic preferences. Yes, really! Live shows are like love languages—everyone has one. Perhaps, we’ve cracked the code and you’re one Michael Che stand-up show away from finding true love. If so, you’re welcome. We did the hard work of pairing each love language with a type of open mic show. Read below and leave the #ForeverAloneGang for good.
Freestyle Rap Battles
Our city’s most treasured residents were discovered at open mic nights in Atlanta. Fans wait for hours at their favorite live lounge space to get the closet seats. You are finally a part of an exclusive tribe who, without a doubt, knows every last word of every song (just like you). If you’re the type of person who’s obsessed with condescending phrases like, “I was listening to Juice Wrld when he went by JuicetheKidd…”
Congrats! You’re a Words of Affirmation type.
You’re the type that just “gets” the lyrics. The words are the soundtrack to your life. People who express love in this manner are “dead serious” about keeping it authentic. Attending a grungy anime rap cypher hosted in a cement-walled fire hazard ranks at the top of your bucket list. It’s all about being the realest and feeling understood.
At the end of the day, don’t we all just want to be seen for who we are?
To these people, Ali Siddiq is a gateway drug. They were all up on Sarah Cooper’s TikTok, during the worst days of 2020. Now, they trawl every open mic comedy club on the hunt for their next fix. When they sit at a live show, they pretend to act all “shocked pikachu.jpg” when invited to join on the stage (spoiler alert: they’ve already seen the show twelve times!).
Does this sound like you?
Congrats! You’re a Receiving Gifts type.
People like you like to be shown love not only told. Tangible engagement is key to receiving deep emotional dividends from you. You’re all about jumping in and “seeing what happens.” Gifts that awaken your inner thirst to be dramatically different would include things like blindfolds or Bo Burnam Inside on vinyl. If the phrase “Wouldn’t it be crazy if…” is in regular rotation in your everyday conversation, then this is you. Stop living in denial.
A chic event space is where it’s at for these folks. These are visual artistes gyrating their way through this brief human experience. Forget the body shame and instead embrace the limitless creations going viral on the internet. The moves they make cannot be replicated. But alas, they are often appropriated.
Yes, you guessed it.
Congrats! You’re the Physical Touch type.
Physical touch is as intimate as it gets. There something about watching dancers, holding one another on a dimly lit stage saying next to nothing. Yet, their expressions and hypnotic movements reveal everything. Every stolen look, every kiss, and every brush against each other taps into that deeply hidden place that even you can’t understand. Here’s the bad news, these types are also the biggest commitment-phobes.
An open mic night classic. Reciting poetry, reading a passage from a book, and letting things off your chest confessional-style is at the heart of the spoken word art form. It’s forgetting all the stigmas about being vulnerable and normalizing self-acceptance. It’s all about sitting in a corner with just you and the mic.
All that close connection can only mean one thing….
Congrats! You’re the Quality Time type.
You’re the type who doesn’t just want to “hang out.” You’re all about getting to know one another and looking into each other’s soul….on the first date. For you, it’s never enough. You’re always wanting more. Sorry to break it to you, that’s why you got ghosted.
Social Justice & Community Organizing
Yes, this is a thing. 90% of Eventbrite is basically tagged under engagement. This is what readers of The Rootand Very Smart Brothas do when they take it to the streets to elevate all things “blackness.” These folks aren’t content until they get their message heard.
Do you see yourself being down for the cause?
Congrats! You’re the Acts of Service type.
You crave someone to give you as much care and attention as you do to your ideals. You need someone that looks to you for guidance and shows you their appreciation for your strong convictions. A person of this type can’t be basic. The must be adored. They dream big and are secretly planning to one day run for Mayor of NYC.
Oh, and #JusticeforShacarri.
Maybe we’re just shitposting on the internet for the clout, but I think this will help a lot of lonely folks find their match sooner than they thought.
Tell us in the comments. Which open mic live show sounds like you?
When you go anywhere else, it’s simply a social event space. Worse, it’s a soulless corporate event space with a high deposit and an ambience best suited for budget meetings. Our goal at Soca House is to be a social hub for unique content makers and creatives alike.
How about hosting an open mic live show? Don’t be shy. We make booking event space for rent easy.